Lost again

It has been 9 days since I last posted,
Well this isn't a long while,
Read what I wrote and you'll see why.

Am I a masochist?
I don't look to myself this way
A few days ago you called
I asked you to call me if you left him
And you did call
I knew that my path is long
I knew that I'll have to regain you
I knew that even the simple kiss must be regranted
But I never imagined that
I'll have to work for your love again
I never imagined that you lost that feeling
Is it me? Am I the problem?
Did I think big of us?
Did I imagine a happy ending?
Did I hallucinate of two grays?
Side by side on the sidewalk
Holding each others hands
And looking back to their answers
For what life threw to them
And laughing of the weakness of life for there love
Yeah that's what I thought, imagined and hallucinated
The day we kissed the first time
The day we sweared the eternal love
The day I saw you sleeping
It's easy for you to say take it easy
Your not the one dreaming every night of me
Wishing me goodnight, even miles away
Holding me tightly, even miles away
Kissing me passionately, even miles away
Take it easy?
I still love you
Even when I know that you are with another guy
Even when I can't call you baby for one year
Even when you told me that you love him
HIM
Let HIM be damned
His Infernal Majesty
I'm not you sweet E
You are with him
And never seized to let me feel that you still love me
I can't be with someone when I love you
I can't think of someone when I dream of you
I can't look to someone when all I seek is you
Hello dark room
Welcome back blue mask

Now you see why I didn't want to post. I thought if I sleep on it it will go away. I was terribly wrong. It grew.