Souls Can Dance

Inspired by a movie I watched last night, and the unexpected
development in my life

My heart couldn't rest
Until I convinced him
That my E is dead
He wore the black dress
He cried secretly all day
He cried openly when I was his only crowd
He kept calling her name
Begging her to wake up
But E was dead
His morn seemed to be endless
Then the day came
When she woke up
Called him, and he didn't listen to me
His joy was indescribable
His prayers were answered
Sweet E was awake
But the but must exist
She couldn't remember him
She couldn't see who woke her up
Which is harder losing something?
Or knowing the place ignoring the way?
That second lose was too much him to bare
My exhausted heart died
Remember this day
The day that the living died
The day that the dead awoke

Sad weekend gets weird

Friday:
Ok now let's start, the normal depressed weekend lured in the horizon, then I had a call, it was her the sweet E:
Zou: Hey bannout (bannout=little girl)
E: Hi kifak (kifak=how are you)
Zou: Well I'm fine, never been better (lying of course)
E: Well at least one of us is good
Zou: What's wrong? Tell me maybe I can help.
E: Not on the phone, can I see you tomorow? (tomorow=saturday)
Zou: Well of course.
* A stupid chitchat came along the phone call, and she laughed a little, and we hung up.

Saturday:
I woke up veryyyy exited I canceled an early friend's appointment and met her, we talked about many things like how our relationship ended after 3.5 years for one single mistake, and she kept emphasizing that it wasn't the only mistake that "[{(WE)}]" weren't happy the last year or so (I didn't understand who she meant by the we. Anyway she refused to talk about SJ (prince charming), so I considered that she was happy with him.
But the most meaningful thing of that day was that when we were shopping (yeah I hate shopping, but it's the only excuse I find to spend some time with her), it was the first time (since the breakup 1 year ago), that she didn't block me, which means we held hands, I held her (passionately) and she welcomed that by returning the feeling, WOW I felt euphoria, I thought that my personal sexual troubles would fade (we will get back to that later).
Now the day happy ending, she told me that tomorrow she can't see me, cuz she have a date with him, I felt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boooooooom, like one falling from the sixth flour. But I believed that there was progress being made, so I'll bite on my wound.

Sunday:
Well the cursed day came sooner than expected, I was like a gargoyle in the house, then she called at 18:00 well no problem I can live with that, I decided I will give her the day to remember, she will remember this day as the day with me, not him, but when she piked me up, well I was really really petrified the thought that she was with him an hour earlier was killing me. So I told her I'm not feeling well at all from the hole situation and I want to go home, so I excused my self just under her house, and told her I was going home (I lied I couldn't leave that easily), so I went to one of our favorite spots, it's in Jbeil (Byblos), on the shore, I sat on a rock smoked a cigarette and cried bitterly....
After a few seconds I called her to tell her I don't want to hear from her anymore, I'm not her friend and I don't want her to be my friend, well that was my intention, but I chickened, I asked her if she was hungry, she said she can't leave home (due to parents) but invited me to come over and said that she knew that I haven't left.
This post is getting very long lets cut the crap.......
So we sat on the balcony and we talked as we used to do....
Listen to a few quotes that she said:

• What I can say to you, I can't say to him. ( For God sakes then why stay with him)
• Well I invested emotionally allot in him. ( More than 3.5 years?)
• He is your opposite, but that isn't that good. (Already commented on that)
• He will never reach the love you love me, the same goes to me. (Already commented on that)
• You hurt me in the past. ( WTF do you think you are doing now?)
• We can't get back, cuz I can't imagine you even kissing me. (OMG what am I doing here?)
• It's killing me seeing you hurt. (Do you worry that much of hurting him?)
• You are more than a girl can ever asks for. (But!?)

This is all I can remember, and again we agreed about meeting on monday morning, but if you think that what happened before hurts, well imagine monday morning, plain and simple, she called and said that she can't....
Anyway this was the last straw, no matter how much it hurts, but no more please....
I decided that never again I will run toward her, she knows my number, but this time.....I don't know what.......I simply don't know what........
I just pray, really pray and lent that she is always well, and that nobody hurts her.......

Now to the more urging topic mentioned by Jess in here, I swear to God that I was never gona talk about this subject, but how the hell did you knwo that I was on the sea shore, that I cried, and what she said? :P
But let me tell you one thing, I took this picture with my imate and it labeled it "200703251852_00392" which means I took it 25/03/2007 at 18:52...... I'm not lying you can check........I swear to God I'm not lying.......I'm getting chills up my spine...
This is the first time I say it, but now I realy believe in telepathy there is noooooo other explanation......
I think I'm in love.......again....... :D

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Well I rarely read a full article in the press, usually I read a few lines and then dumb it. But this one, is so true and puts the finger on the right spots.
I dedicate it specially specially for S&D and i*maginate just to point to what guys are really like, and the ones she is stumbling upon are just some teenagers or immature (even old teenagers or immature) people.

Source

Here are some picked lines.

...I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.

Well yeah we love sex, but let's get real if we just need sex we will go to hookers, if we must fall let it be in love.

...About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship...

What can be better than living with your friend, a good laugh, a nice flirt, this is a trademark of friends.

...Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence...

Well to an extent it's true, let us see that you are an equal, don't let us feel that you can't live without us...

...Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans)...

Actually we love you more than life, but let us see what is life, to cherish you more...

...Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator...

We need someone to take some decisions with us, but don't take the only lead don't forget that we exist in this relationship.

...guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental...

What I quoted is 100% a mirror of my soul... I was shocked how some writer described... Men in love with stats (and I thought I was special :P)

Lost again

It has been 9 days since I last posted,
Well this isn't a long while,
Read what I wrote and you'll see why.

Am I a masochist?
I don't look to myself this way
A few days ago you called
I asked you to call me if you left him
And you did call
I knew that my path is long
I knew that I'll have to regain you
I knew that even the simple kiss must be regranted
But I never imagined that
I'll have to work for your love again
I never imagined that you lost that feeling
Is it me? Am I the problem?
Did I think big of us?
Did I imagine a happy ending?
Did I hallucinate of two grays?
Side by side on the sidewalk
Holding each others hands
And looking back to their answers
For what life threw to them
And laughing of the weakness of life for there love
Yeah that's what I thought, imagined and hallucinated
The day we kissed the first time
The day we sweared the eternal love
The day I saw you sleeping
It's easy for you to say take it easy
Your not the one dreaming every night of me
Wishing me goodnight, even miles away
Holding me tightly, even miles away
Kissing me passionately, even miles away
Take it easy?
I still love you
Even when I know that you are with another guy
Even when I can't call you baby for one year
Even when you told me that you love him
HIM
Let HIM be damned
His Infernal Majesty
I'm not you sweet E
You are with him
And never seized to let me feel that you still love me
I can't be with someone when I love you
I can't think of someone when I dream of you
I can't look to someone when all I seek is you
Hello dark room
Welcome back blue mask

Now you see why I didn't want to post. I thought if I sleep on it it will go away. I was terribly wrong. It grew.

Just some Thank YouS

Hey hey What the hell r u all doing here I said "Just for S&D" :P

This is for Sex and Dubai, just because I felt I should thank them or her, or them in her :P I don't know they confused me, and besides I just was waiting the perfect thing to say, so this card say it all :D, but I have one small favor S&D, please post cuz I'm so soooooo desperate to read your posts that I almost memorized the ones in. Anyway I realy realy like your posts, keep it real.

PS: Actually Chris And Shlemazl did a GREAT job cheering me up, but guys i'm sorry, i'm straight, and I don't really feel good kissing your asses so thank you no really i'm just joking you have 333333 thank you each :P THANK YOU

3D Ping Pong

I got addicted to this game but I never managed to pass the 8th level, tell me if u could.

Play

Some good conversions

"Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 3!"
I don't know if this is a joke or just some lame theft.
Anyway, I had a good laugh I hope you do....
If Christians must "fight" something, it's bad image not the so called "War on Christmas". These are the true pests in Christianity.

Sexual advice

It has been two to three days since I last posted, part of it is because I was too busy at work, relatively in peace in my free life (I finally accepted my lose) and for the last part I got addicted to S&D's posts and others comments on them, anyway I really really got mad of the stupidity of men and/or the extremely deviated image that women have of them, so here are some rules I follow that I encourage all to follow:
1- A kiss should never be asked, never forced but should come.
2- Let the moment guide you hand not your dick, sometimes you both will reach places that you regretted touching that moment.
3- Now to a very spiky subject; the anal, guys before thinking of it try it yourself, get a dildo lubricate it well, and ask her to stick it in YOUR ASS, now if you like that feeling, change your orientation, if you didn't how come you ask her to do it.
4- Never ask her to do something you won't do, whenever you feel asking her for a blowjob, try getting the 69, if you can't or don't want it, the fellatio, no and now why you should get any privilege on her.
5- I can't emphasize enough on the Préliminaire, Don't fake them, don't abuse them, enjoy them.
Anyway why listen to me I've lost all my previous girl friends, but ask them all, they all said that I'm tender (even after we left), so think a little and get a brain bigger than your balls.

BTW: I removed my personal infos following Chris and Shlemazl advice, and removed my Ex-GF and her BF names cuz I think it wouldn't be appropriate.