It has been 9 days since I last posted,
Well this isn't a long while,
Read what I wrote and you'll see why.
Am I a masochist?
I don't look to myself this way
A few days ago you called
I asked you to call me if you left him
And you did call
I knew that my path is long
I knew that I'll have to regain you
I knew that even the simple kiss must be regranted
But I never imagined that
I'll have to work for your love again
I never imagined that you lost that feeling
Is it me? Am I the problem?
Did I think big of us?
Did I imagine a happy ending?
Did I hallucinate of two grays?
Side by side on the sidewalk
Holding each others hands
And looking back to their answers
For what life threw to them
And laughing of the weakness of life for there love
Yeah that's what I thought, imagined and hallucinated
The day we kissed the first time
The day we sweared the eternal love
The day I saw you sleeping
It's easy for you to say take it easy
Your not the one dreaming every night of me
Wishing me goodnight, even miles away
Holding me tightly, even miles away
Kissing me passionately, even miles away
Take it easy?
I still love you
Even when I know that you are with another guy
Even when I can't call you baby for one year
Even when you told me that you love him
HIM
Let HIM be damned
His Infernal Majesty
I'm not you sweet E
You are with him
And never seized to let me feel that you still love me
I can't be with someone when I love you
I can't think of someone when I dream of you
I can't look to someone when all I seek is you
Hello dark room
Welcome back blue mask
Now you see why I didn't want to post. I thought if I sleep on it it will go away. I was terribly wrong. It grew.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Lost again
at 10:26 PM
Labels: E, eternal love, feeling, first time, hallucinate, HIM, imagine, kiss, life, love, masochist, miles, passionately, path, regain, think, weakness
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41 comments:
Oh, for fuck's sake! Here we go again...
Alright, I should have expected a relapse. One thing though: can you live that girl alone? The dice has been cast and it did not work out. Her loss. Move on.
Now, I know you've been a good boy and can be counted among the hard-core S&D fans. How about the two other suggestions?
Have you been to that gym? That's a real-life thing that makes a guy feel SO much better. Once you feel good about yourself the females just throw themselves at you, believe you me. It's not easy to fight them of, but I know you can do it.
Yeah, and ask a chick out. Does not mean you have to sleep with her, but a dinner with a lady is so much better than playing with yourself, don't you think?
shlemazl, the problem is that I don't think till now that it didn't work out, it's a one mistake break up, wich I can't accept as a reason for a final break up, but I will try not to b a pain in the ass for her. I decided not 2 call her till 31/7 her birthday...
Me? Gym? that will b a good laugh.... :P
making yourself believe that "you don't think it didn't work out" contradicts the reality which is..She is not with you! so it actually DID NOT work out otherwise you would be together!
if one cannot see your worth - get over it!...dwelling in the imprisonment of the once nostalgic memory isn't gonna make things better.
i hope you get to find happiness.
here is big HUG from me!
None of my business, but I don't think you should call her at all. Send her a birthday card.
DO go to that gym. Get yourself a trainer. Do it every day for 2 weeks. Then stop if it does not make you feel better.
At first I was also going to yell at you a little but decided against it! But now that the others have started in at you I must join the lynch mob! :P
Are you trying to force me to visit Lebanon just so I can dump a bucket of ice water over your head??? If you do I'll be sending you a $3500 bill for the airfare!
Due to my past history & misadventures I shouldn't give advice about such things, but just do as I say, not as I do! :P
ok, this is about the most cheesy thing I've ever repeated in my life but it fits...
"If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was."
@Jess:
1Welcome to my blog, I feel that people do care. You are right, my current state contradict with what I remember of that relationship,you are right I must let it go so I can continue, but the bitterness is killing me.
BTW: is it a HUGE HUG or just a sympathy HUG? Just Joking I smiled when I read it... :P
@Shlemazl:
If it wasn't your business I wouldn't post it, when I know that you, Chris, S&D, now Jess and my Sister are the only ones reading it, so yeah I'm asking you advice I need someone to talk to...
You said the gym, well I never thought of it, I'll try it... you are probably right...I swear I'll try it.
@Chris:
Why not join the mob attack the weak :( ... But please no bills no bills from you... I saw one and it scared the shit out of me... I'm just joking ... your Slogan is very catching, I agree 100% with you, I used to repeat it to E and my friends when they ask me, but saying is easier than doing... but I swear this time I'll do, not just say...
ezou!!! bunjee jumping is a lot better!!! you can scream and completely lose yourself in the horizon and then maybe you'd throw up if you have motion sickness- then maybe throwing up all that bitterness is what you need after all!...I’ll go to Lebanon one day and do that with you if you want!
big hug cuz you need a hug...not sympathy...the more people sympathize the more you feel like shit!.. and you’ll sit in a corner feeling like a victim - you don't need that!
@jess:
I’ll go to Lebanon one day and do that with you if you want!
I'll camp at the airport or swim for UAE, so we can throw up together...hehe...thanks.... :P
big hug cuz you need a hug...not sympathy
so it wasn't a HUGE hug, ok I'll settle for a big hug......it has been a while...since I was huged..... XOXOXOX.......
"no bills no bills from you... I saw one and it scared the shit out of me..."
hehe :P
OMG, "bunjee jumping" & "throwing up together"! WOW, are Emarati chicks HOT or what??!!
btw, regarding giving jess the additional "XOXOXO", good for you! She gives you an innocent hug and you sneak a couple kisses out of it! :D
hahaha!...yea totally takin advantage of my innocently offered comfort...
jess I don't think ezou is as innocent as he wants us to believe! ;)
But the important question is did you like it jess?? :D
(lol, am I evil?)
Yeah Chris you are evil, you should be called Pazuzu :P
OMG those were "innocent" kisses...just like when you kiss your sister... yeah dream on.....
just joking, you too made me smile widely...
not you Chris I hate you I just love jess...
Just Joking..... :P
"those were "innocent" kisses.....just like when you kiss your sister"
LOL, yeah right!
BTW, I wouldn't kiss my own sister! I would only kiss other people's sisters if given opportunity! :P
----------
btw, here's another tip, during such hugs be sure that your cell phone in your front pocket.
Also, hand placement is very important. With your right hand in a vertical position, fingers down & spread, place it gently over the small of her back just above her tailbone. Place your left hand between her shoulder blades. If during the kiss she responds by pressing into you slightly, squeeze a little harder using even pressure with both the right & left hands. That is VERY important, uneven pressure will make her feel as she is being grabbed or clung onto, totally destroying the "melting into" sensation.
If done properly she should go slightly limp. Your right hand should be in proper position to help support her weight. If you are daring enough and she is receptive you may try slipping your right hand fingers just under her waist band, but never travel past your knuckles or proceed beyond the top of the butt crack at this point! You must tease her!
Next, after several moments, abruptly stop and casually act as if nothing significant happened. Say goodbye and let her feel "hot and bothered" for the rest of the day. It is very desirable to progressively build up some sexual tension. :D
Am I a good teacher?
Should I write a book?
You know what they say right, "Those who can't.... become teachers" :P
@Chris:
OMG Chris that was deep, I never thought of you of that much of a thinker and a planner.......
That was an excellent strategy, wait a second I have to print this to remember it.
@Jess:
Two questions:
1- Can I have this HUG again?
2- When are you coming to Lebanon?
I have to test Chris's technique. :P
"OMG Chris that was deep,"
Hey I'm deep man! Very deep!
Also caffeine has an acute aphrodisiac effect on me. I'm on my 8th cup.
BTW, this is not planning or strategy! That's just how it's done when it's done properly!
Oh my! I have much to teach you yet, don't I my little grasshopper... :D
------
hmmm, Jess must think we're freaks now.
@Chris:
Yes master, You teach me humble, Me Learn.... :P ......
Jess must think we're freaks now
ohhh....why would she thinks that we are freaks....it's a common reality....everybody knows that we are...... :P
@chris: "But the important question is did you like it jess?? :D
(lol, am I evil?)"
hmmm..i liiike?!?..lOl! and chris i'm very VERY impressed with the hOt and bOthered methOd...reading it gOt me all bOthered already..
@ezOu and chris: all i can say it
ENTI SHERIRAH!...
chris, ezOu will translate that fOr yOu
btw ezOu...dO yOu have a sister? i have yet tO meet the new girl whO will randOmly frech kiss me(see sunday drill in my blOg and u'll understand) and i prOmise that this time i'll reciprOcate mOre..and abOut the Leb trip..i was hOpin June but i'll see if my EurOpe trip is nOt tOO crazy!..testing testing 1.2! lOl!
yOu guys i guess we are givin new definitiOn if nOt flavOr in blOgging...that's hOt haha!
Oh and yes Of cOurse yOu can have anOther HUG...i'll have it FedEx tO yOu first thing in the mOrning!
jess,
Your excessIve usage of the uppercase "O" Is very subLImInaLLy suggestIve. It InspIres me to unIntentIonaLLy thInk Indecent thoughts and causes my mInd to sLowLy wander In & out of InterestIng pLaces.
"ENTI SHERIRAH!..."
Damn It! I hate it when you people do that to me! I'm so tempted to use this nasty new Lebanese word I learned on the both of you! :P
btw, if you like the "Hot and bothered" method perhaps if you ask nicely I'll continue & describe the next step in the progression, the "Moist Panties" maneuver. It's optionally hands free!
@Jess:
That bIg O Is gettIng me all "hot and bothered"....
gIrl you are torturIng two pour souls...
Is it a FreudIan slIp out...
why am I capItalIzIng all those I's...
yeah I have a sIster, someday I'll gIve you her blogs address...
I'm waiting for that hug In my maIl box.... :P
btw: I already read your your blog and commented about that post before you mentIoned It here :P "evIl mInds thInk alIke :P"
@Chris:
"ENTI SHERIRAH!..."
is said for the feminin gender and it means "You are evil"....
for boys you say "enta sherrir"
a girl say about her self "ana cherir"...
a boy say about him self "ana cherir"
....
btw: come on give us the "Moist Panties" maneuver plz plz plz plz plz ....
yOu bOth: my ooOOoo's are cOntagiOus and has an underlying meaning in it...mOst Of the unspOken and subliminal messages are always tempting tO explOre...maybe if we get intO that same intensity Of being hOt and bOthered we can mOve On tO discOvering it...
when I was in Amsterdam last year I was gOnna get an arabic written tattoo in my pelvis with this phrase "enti sherirah" I cOuld have chOsen "ana sherirah" but the first One's gOt mOre appeal tO it...sO when sOmeOne is reading it they are actually refering tO me saying "she's wicked"..it made sense tO me i dOn't care fOr the rest...but i fOrgOt the design in my hOtel sO i ended up getting a dragOn crawling dOwn tO the directiOn Of my lala land!...
sO chris tell me - dOes that make yOu wanna cOntinue teaching ezOus with yOur Other techniques?
"i ended up getting a dragOn crawling dOwn tO the directiOn Of my lala land!..."
OMG! Excuse me while I roll my magnificent 8" tongue back into my mouth....
Screw the hug! FedEx over a pic of that!
ezou damn it! Now I'm going to stop in Lebanon just to beat you up out of pure jealousy! Hopefully S&D will send me that used thong I requested, then I will rub that in your face. ...even better I'll rub it in mine and tell you about it! Then we will be even... :P
As for revealing the other technique I better not just yet... Ezou is not ready, he is liable to abuse this knowledge. I can't trust him yet.
I simply wouldn't be able to live with the knowledge of him running around Beirut randomly wetting panties. I'm showing all the lovely Lebanese ladies mercy, they will thank me one day for that.
btw, did I steer this post off topic or what? :P
now now chris! easy tiger easy!...
i guess we have dOne a great jOb On redirecting ezOu's bitterness intO hOt, steamy mOist underpants!..haha!
Those O's are killing me ... this emphasize on O make's me Oing when I'm reading them wich isn't contagious but, hot, yeah that's the polite word for it....
I don't believe you that you have a tatoo like that.....
post a picture ...... :P
that was low...
hOw much richer wOuld i get when yOu and i bet On it?...if i cOuld pOst a pic in this cOmment i wOuld...
Jess,
All you have to do is post the picture on your blog, but save the post as a draft so that it does not get published. Then link to the address of the photo downloaded to Blogger in the comment section here. Just as I did here.
This blog is very private, your photo will be safe with Chris and Ezou and I won't even look. Not sure about the S&D girls though - they might get overexited.
I see where Chris gets his Arabic.
"I see where Chris gets his Arabic."
Damn it! You've found me out shlemazl! Yes the secret is out, I learn my flawless Arabic from Arab women swearing at me and from
using a tourist phrase guide... :(
but shukran for thoughtfully assisting agmaal fil koon Jess with her technical difficulties!
OMG Shlemazl, I was afraid to click that link initially. I didn't want to see your dragon tattoo!
Chris,
Now you insulted me, I will never ever show you my Dragon. You will never know what you've lost.
If JeSs were to ask real nice, I might show it to her.
First she'd have to show hers.
@Jess:
hOw much richer wOuld i get when yOu and i bet On it?
Not much I think but you'll have our admiration :P...
anyway you name the bet...
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
...if i cOuld pOst a pic in this cOmment i wOuld...
Shlemazl solved that so no more excuses :D
BTW: Those O's are killing me....
I'm sure it's a libido....
@Chris:
Yeah we should assassinate him, he always busts us, we the innocent gangsters.... :P
@Shlemazl:
f JeSs were to ask real nice, I might show it to her
You are cheap my friend, just if she asks nicely..... :P
so anyone wants to c my dragon?you can ask rudely with me....I'm not as lame as the one above.... :D
@ezou:
"Yeah we should assassinate him..."
Hey come on now! Don't you start talking like a Lebanese politician now! :P
shit, I missed all the action! Those words are so beautiful, so deep! My God, this is true love! A man who is still in love with someone who has hurt them, whether intentionally or not! Oh my goodness...this is Romeo and Juliet! pleeeeeeeeeease keep us posted...what's happening with sweet E? will she feature in your E-blog...or will this love blossom, and two lovers will be back again? The suspense is killing me!
first Of all ...i wanna knOw hOw much is at stake upOn revealing my dragOn...sO let's deal..
ezOu - i wanna make sure that when i gO tO LebanOn...yOu'll take me tO Faraya mOuntain...endless supply Of alcOhOl...eeee...lOl!!...party till the eternity!...
and..i assure yOu that my Ooohs...will cOntinue tO bOther yOu!
@shlemazl: i'm always up tO seeing a dragOn...preferably a live One!..lOl!...and thanks fOr the technical suppOrt!
@chris: @ezou:
"Yeah we should assassinate him..."
Hey come on now! Don't you start talking like a Lebanese politician now! :P
looOOOool!!!!!...yOu just gOtta gO fOr the kill dOn't yOu?
btw shlemazl, whO dOes One has tO sleep with tO read yOur blOg...i tried but i'm nOt invited tO view it?... a little cOndescending are we?
Jess,
One has to sleeP with Nomad to see Nomadic Owls. Chris can vouch that I am telling the truth.
You have my Personal invitation to read and comment onMy Blog. We can discuss comPensation later.
[Between the two of us, "shlemazl" is oPen to anyone who tries, but don't tell it to anyone].
"[Between the two of us, "shlemazl" is oPen to anyone who tries, but don't tell it to anyone]."
lOl..gOOd One!
@Jess:
i wanna make sure that when i gO tO LebanOn...yOu'll take me tO Faraya mOuntain...
Easy don't show the dragon, just come to Lebanon and I'll get you to Farayya.
endless supply Of alcOhOl...eeee...lOl!!...
hehe....you must have seen my frige.
party till the eternity!...
The last time somebody said eternity it lasted for 3.5 years so yeah I can handle that :P
i'm always up tO seeing a dragOn...preferably a live One!..lOl!
Come on not even shlemazl can do that.....
"Easy don't show the dragon, just come to Lebanon and I'll get you to Farayya"
i'll gO On christmas..
sO nO dragOn viewing this time then?
lOl..gOOd One!
Please be aware in this case and in all future cases that any double meaning in my words is Purely due to Poor command of English. It is not my native language.
Me thinks that Ezou is getting a little Protective of your dragon. Oh well, you'll have to send me and Chris a Photo of your dragons in Faraya.
@jess:
i'll gO On christmas..
I'll get my Pajamas, If I didn't go online that often call the airport staff.
sO nO dragOn viewing this time then
NO NO NO.......share..........show us.......Christmas is sooooooo far away....
If you show me your dragon I'll show you mine (oops I forgot, I haven't got a tatoo..... no problem :P)
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