Pain

Do you think I loved her when I knew that I lost her,
actually no, I got scared when I knew that I lost her.

How much, is too much
How deep in love should I be
To be deeply in love
These days I can barely breath
I'm smoking like an old diesel car
My heart beats are getting hard to continue
I can't focus I jump from one idea to another
Today I was on the stairs talking to a friend
He was talking about his perfect relationship
When I felt a tremendous pain in my knee
All I remember was waking up
In a co-worker car
He drove me to a near hospital
They X-rayed my leg
But how wrong they were
As it turned out to be
The doctor said it was a direct result of stress
I wish they scanned my heart
They would have noticed
That I'm missing half of it's beats
Hell, I'm missing half of my heart
The pain is becoming unbelievable
I feel like a zombie
Whatever is the cost
I want to get to it's end
I wish I never loved
I would have never missed it that much